As Father’s Day is rapidly approaching I am thinking about the fathers in my life and how my relationships, perceptions and beliefs about men have transformed through my own healing journey.
Regardless of our gender, we all carry a masculine aspect within us that is modeled by our relationship with our fathers and our male lineage. A focus of our lives is to bring this aspect to a state of greater understanding, and balance; this is the path back into oneness.
When we are consistently in a negative cycle of conversation with ourselves or others about how toxic masculinity is, we are also projecting that energy onto ourselves.
As women, we give birth to men, we raise them, love them and often become lovers with them. In unification, there is balance, honor, and compassion for our masculine aspects as well as our feminine. This is the true tantra and sacred marriage, where these two beautiful forces of the divine masculine and feminine dance in oneness and harmony.
Although more of a commercial holiday, Father’s Day can also be a time of spiritual reflection. We can look back to our own fathers, and then look within to understand the gifts as well as the opportunities for growth that we experienced in relationship to our fathers.
My father was an inspirational mentor, a source of strength and fortitude, and one of my best friends in the world. He was a Marine, a Korean War veteran, and incredibly conservative and disciplined. He was hard on me.
That was challenging when I was young, but as I got older I learned how to become the champion of my own life. He was the first investor and staunch supporter of my work and was always there to listen, encourage and make me laugh with his Irish wit. We all need an ally of this caliber in life to inspire our dreams, desires, and drive.
There were other elements of his personality formed by living through the Great Depression incredibly poor, growing up without a father with a mother who suffered from great mental health problems. As an Irish Catholic growing up in the 1930s, he learned to fight against the ridicule of being of an inferior cultural class. Patterns of lack, abandonment, fighting, mental illness, and addiction were also passed on through the environmental and energetic imprinting of my early childhood treasure map.
You see our childhood family constellations and core dynamics offer us a veritable treasure map. But the treasure isn't outside of us, it's within us. So when we start to look at the dysfunctional patterns in our current life and follow them back, we begin to look more closely at how these patterns may have been present in either of our parents or back through our lineage.
These patterns can be traced back through belief systems, behaviors, emotional interactions, as well as energetic thought forms that may have been felt but never said out loud. Our cellular consciousness is imprinted with this energy and intelligence. Our past provides us with such a rich mapping to see exactly the places that we've come into this lifetime to heal and transform. If you believe in past life philosophy, it's still applicable in terms of the childhood map, because everything unresolved from previous lifetimes is still held as a seed in this particular life, so we can see it clearly.
Once you can look at your relationship with your father and see with greater clarity and objectivity, an understanding of the areas still seeking love, harmony, and balance will rise to the surface.
The places within you that still feel hurt, uncertain, abandoned, and in any way unresolved affect all relationships in your life today-including those with your partners or spouses, children, co-workers, your career, your prosperity, and most importantly your health and wellbeing.
If you’d like to explore this further, feel free to read more in my book Detox. Nourish. Activate. or book a free discovery session with me.
There is another gift within your treasure map. When you start to see patterns of what you loved to do, what you were curious about, and what brought you the greatest joy. When you look back you will see shades of your future self forming.
I grew up in NY outside of Albany, right in the snow belt. My dad used to love to tell a story of my early days skiing. I learned cross country at a young age and we would often spend weekends in Glens Falls and other parts of NY and Vermont on the fresh snowy trails. I would often take off on my own, starting my own trail through the woods. I loved the exhilarating feeling of exploring a new area, yet untouched. My father often used this as an analogy to my personality and my desire to forge my own way in life and my own path to success. It was incredibly meaningful to hear this reflection from him before he passed on. When we revisit our early childhood treasure map, we find more than just moments of adversity. There are clues to who we are to become.
What did you love when you were little?
When you look back to your relationship with your father and feel places of past hurt, neglect, and abandonment, it can be difficult to see beyond the pain. Sometimes we only see the wonderful places of who they are or were. The truth lies in the middle, in the acceptance of the inherent imperfection that we all have.
The only way out is through, feeling the feelings we have suppressed, seeing the truth even when it hurts, and finding a sense of compassion, forgiveness, and letting go. We all carry the past within us. The past is both a teacher and a liberator of our truth and purpose when we are ready to accept and receive the divine truth of who we are.
It is human nature to focus on what we don't have in our lives, especially when there is such a profound disparity between what we have in our current experiences of life and what we desire.
We can also be impatient. If we are lacking a tangible reason to be grateful, we can easily become complacent or disappointed in our outcome. And yet that very act pulls us out of alignment with that which we are seeking. It is a dance of consistency, faith, trust, and practice. A simple practice to bring us swiftly back into alignment? Gratitude.
What is gratitude?
Gratitude is both an energy and an emotion. It is a noun and a verb. Gratitude is an alchemical force of creation.
As the sculptor of intentional design, the alchemy of gratitude magnetizes the benevolent flow of abundance in your life. It is the joy juice of life that shifts and expands our perspective on reality when we feel down, overwhelmed, or frustrated with ourselves, another, our work, finances, etc.
It can re-align us with that high vibe paradigm, the sweet spot of alignment in terms of attracting our reality. It is a powerful co-creator of our life experience. When we have the eyes to see, the ears to hear, and an open mind, gratitude becomes more than a practice—it unfolds as a natural and organic response to our life experience, continually elevating our perception and creative abilities.
As you start to look back on your life, your early experiences, and your treasure map, what are some moments you can be grateful for?
Bring your lenses into focus and magnify just three experiences you can think of right now.
What appreciation do you have for your father, one of the two who gave you this life as a gift and blessing?
Take a few minutes and jot down your thoughts, and feel free to share them with me. I am here listening.
A Gift for Dad
When I built my last brand, one of the questions I was most asked in a boardroom pitch was, “What about a product for us men? We want to smell and feel good too.”
This is our most popular men’s formula, featuring earthy patchouli, woodsy arborvitae, and a touch of vanilla sweetness. It’s grounding, balancing, and activates that vital life force we are all looking to strengthen in life.
It can be used for meditation, a natural cologne and it can also be applied to the soles of the feet and over the kidneys to energize the adrenal system.
Top 3 Tips to Activate Your Vital Life Force
Take a jaunt to your favorite forest or park. If it is safe, take your shoes off and walk barefoot, letting your feet connect directly with the earth. If you find a soft spot on the ground that invites you, take a few minutes to lie down and receive the supportive, revitalizing earth energy beneath you.
Honor your body temple with adrenal nourishing plant medicines. Tulsi and ashwagandha tea are excellent sources of adaptogens to help the body fight stress and rebuild vitality. Anchor your positive intentions for greater well-being with your Vital Life Force blend by inhaling for 30-45 seconds while visualizing your sacred intention as fully manifest. This process creates a biochemical anchor in your brain and body and fosters a laser path of energy to your intention becoming actualized.
Add twenty minutes of body-appropriate exercise to your healthy habit practices at least 3-4 times a week. Exercise builds vital life force, and promotes circulation and clear, positive thinking. Even a walking meditation in the woods or with your bestie is body, heart, and soul medicine. My friend and I walk weekly and it is nourishing and stimulating on many levels.
I hope these tips and the Vital Life Force blend bring renewed vitality and harmony into your life.
Wishing you a joyful and transformative Father's Day,
Adora Winquist
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